Friday, August 31, 2007

Possible Ovulation?

Last night I start to have cramps on my right side. I have never felt anything on my right side. The cramping only lasted an hour or so. I think I might have Ovulated. I asked Dh if he wanted to bd he was like no way not until the doctor gives the ok. For once I want it and he does not, this I will always remember.

So lupron or no lupron? This is the hardest decision I have had to make. I know it will only be for 3 months. I am not concerned so much about the s/e. The lupron just might do the trick. But at the same time if I just ovulated than what are my chances of that again after lupron? Especially since now I only have the one tube on my right side.

I need to stop thinking about it and wait to talk with the doctor on Tuesday so I can make an informed decision and not an emotional one.

Thursday, August 30, 2007


I have been doing a lot of thinking. I know I should not hold grudge and letting it go is the best thing to do. So typing and putting on the computer is truly letting it go. I can not believe that my gyn never said anything about endo. I even asked about endo and she said there is no way it could be. She was concerned about my high fsh and put me on hrt. She never heard me when I was complaining about pelvic pain and spotting and just feeling awful. So the hrt just made the endo grow more and possibly the reason why I lost my left tube. I could have had this surgery last year. I know I should let it go but it is hard. I know she tried to help me. Yeah I have always heard that a gyn is only good for annual exam and delivering babies. I know now I need to find a good gyn even if that means I need to drive out of town.

Saturday, August 25, 2007


I am starting to feel better. My stomach is very sore. But I don't know if I will be able to do nothing for 3 more weeks. I feel so emotional today. I was crying just laying down , not from pain but the decisions I need to make. I keep thinking whether I should take the lupron or not. Damn if I do and damn if I don't. I already have pre-menopause symptoms and that just might push me over the edge. But at the same time it is only for 3 months. I'm sure the time will go by so fast.

Thursday, August 23, 2007


The Surgery went well. I kept saying to my mom that I would be coming home that day. She kept telling me I was not and I should be prepared for that. I should have believed her especially since she is in the medical field.

My surgery was at 1pm and it do not start until 1:30.
The surgery was only going to be 2 hours and it ended up 3 and half hours. They removed my left tube as it was fused to my ovary with adhesion's. I also have 2 endometriomas a very large and medium one on my right ovary. I also had adhesion's between my cervix and rectum and on my bowels.

The doctor came to talk with my family around 5-5:30 and when I was in recover I asked what time it was they said it was 6:10. That is when my doctor had me admitted and I was just waiting for a bed. By the time I got to my room it was 8pm. I had been at the hospital since 11am. When my parents dropped off my husband it was 9:30 and when they got home it was almost 11:30. I know everyone had a long day.

I could not sleep in the hospital. The iv in both hands hurt because I have tinny vanes. Plus having to call the nurse every time I need to go to the bathroom. I know they are there to help and they were great but I just wanted to sleep.

I knew I had pain but some pain I had I did not know it was connected to endo. Plus my doctor still does not know why I was spotting so much.

My re wants me to do 3 months of lupron and then try naturally after that since I have bad endo. From what I have been reading that lupron calms down the endo and can truly help. But I am very nervous about it. He wants to give me my first shot in 2 weeks at my post op appointment.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

What it means to have PTC- A letter for others to understand

This was written by, member 8klc

I thought this was so perfect. I myself never know how to explain to people. Most of the time I just avoid explaining because it is easier. When I saw this, well it should copied and carried in my purse all the time. Kudos ......

Having Pseudotumor Cerebri means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand even a little about Pseudotumor Cerebri and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed.

In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand. These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me...

Please understand that being sick doesn't mean I'm not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit, sometimes I probably don't seem like much fun to be with, but I'm still me-- stuck inside this body. I still worry about my family & friends

Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy". When you've got the flu, you probably feel miserable with it, but I've been sick for years. I can't be miserable all the time. In fact, I work hard at not being miserable. So, if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I'm happy. That's all. It doesn't mean that I'm not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I'm getting better, or any of those things. Please don't say, "Oh, you're sounding better!" or "But you look so healthy!¨ I am merely coping. I am sounding happy and trying to look normal. If you want to comment on that, you're welcome.

With a lot of diseases you're either paralyzed, or you can move. With Pseudotumor Cerebri , it gets more confusing everyday. It can be like a yo-yo. I never know from day to day, how I am going to feel when I wake up. In most cases, I never know from minute to minute. That is one of the hardest and most frustrating components of Pseudotumor Cerebri .

Please repeat the above paragraph substituting, "sitting", "walking", "thinking", concentrating, "being sociable" and so on ... it applies to everything. That's what Pseudotumor Cerebri does to you.

„ Please understand that Pseudotumor Cerebri is variable. It's quite possible (for many, it's common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I'll have trouble getting to the next room. Please don't attack me when I'm ill by saying, "But you did it before!" or Oh, come on, I know you can do this!¡¨ If you want me to do something, then ask if I can.
In a similar vein, I may need to cancel a previous commitment at the last minute. If this happens, please do not take it personally. If you are able, please try to always remember how very lucky you are--to be physically able to do all of the things that you can do.

Please understand that "getting out and doing things" does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. You don't know what I go through or how I suffer in my own private time.

If I seem touchy, it's probably because I am. It's not how I try to be. As a matter of fact, I try very hard to be normal. I hope you will try to understand. I have been, and am still, going through a lot. Pseudotumor Cerebri is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and the mind. It is exhausting and exasperating.

Almost all the time, I know that I am doing my best to cope with this, and live my life to the best of my ability. I ask you to bear with me, and accept me as I am. I know that you cannot literally understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as is possible, I am asking you to try to be understanding in general.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Pow Wow/ Ethnic Fair

My family and I went to a Native American Pow Wow today. It was so much fun. I have never gone before. The drums and native clothing were so beautiful. I would go again when they came back.

We also went to a annual Ethnic fair. There was music, dancing, and food from so many different countries. They had the main st blocked off for it. The weather was so perfect.

Friday, August 10, 2007


I had my pre-op appointment. It went as good as expected. My dr is concerned about my pseudotumor and anesthesia. My Neuro does not think it will be a problem.

My dr said that my left tube is trashed and has to be removed. It makes me so sad. There are to many adhesion's on it. I looked at the hsg and u/s pics in his office today and it looks like a big ball. No wonder I have cramps on the left side all the time. Thank goodness my right tube is open.

He is not giving any hope of getting pg since my fsh is high. He did say that he will test my fsh again after surgery to see where I am. He also said that my ovaries don't look bad or that the high fsh has been there for a long time. I truly feel that the fsh spike is from the endometrioma on cyst since it could have been there since Nov. of last year.

I just want to feel normal again no cramps no spotting. I think the surgery will clean everything out. I know pregnancy can't happen with all the things I have going anyway regardless of the high fsh; adhesion's, polyps, fibroids, endometrioma and a f&**&ed up tube.

The day can only get better right?.......................

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

So many ramdon thoughts

Things have been so crazy these past few weeks. We finally moved and I love the new place. It is so nice to be to walk downtown and go to the store and movies and restaurants. I think I need a vacation. I know I will get some rest after my lap. I do not feel nervous about the surgery. But I am worried about the results and if I will be able to get pregnant. My husband is confident that this will be just what we need.

I have my pre-op appointment on Friday to go over what will happen during surgery. I have so many questions for my doctor. I hope he has my results of my hsg test. I know is that my left tube might have to come out. I am hoping it can be saved.

Maybe I am getting tougher about things since I was so scared about my spinal tap to the point that my husband was convinced that they were going to mess up my spinal cord. That test turned out fine. I had a great doctor for it and recovery was great.

I know I ramble on but I have so many things running through my head sometimes its hard to stop.