Monday, May 21, 2007


I went to see my gyn today. She went over my u/s and my left ovary looks polycystic. But she still can not explain why my fsh was so high back in oct. I know I have other things going on like the pseudotumor which could be messing my hormones up.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Hormones What???

I have had pms really bad this cycle. Maybe it is my hormones out of whack or the cyst. But I can cry so easy and then be pissed. I dont know if I can wait until jun 29th for my re appointment. I hope that with the laparscopy it will fix things. I am so sick of so many things happening at the same time.

Happy Anniversary

Well today is my 7th wedding anniversary and I can not believe is has been that long. It does not feel like that long. My husband did come through. It looked like he was going to forget. But today has been a great day. He gave me this card that made me cry. Well I could cry at the drop of a hat because I have pms. I was so surprised.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Cyst wont go away

Ok, I had my 2nd u/s yesterday and it went well. But the cyst are not getting any better. My right ovary still has a golf ball sized cyst filled with blood and the left ovary has cyst and possible endometrial tissue on it. So my gyn wants me to see another re to have laparoscopy as it could pcos and/or endo. The last re I went to said my only option was donor egg because of the high fsh. Which was a complete joke. I have my fingers crossed for a better one this time. Maybe this is why I am not getting pregnant and not ovulating. I think this is going to put me one step closer to bfp. I am sick of having cramps and spotting. I was looking back at my charts and I think these started back in August.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Mothers Day

Well This weekend is Mothers Day. This day is so hard for people who don't have children. You hear people talking about what their children are doing for them, making breakfast in bed and brunch. It just makes me want children even more. I know my journey is just beginning as I have yet to start fertility treatment but I have faith that one day mothers day will mean so much more than it does right now.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Freaking eye drops

Went to the eye doctor today hoping for good news. I just cant seem to get rid of this eye inflammation. This has been going on since March. I am so sick of eye drops. I know I have to do it but come on. I ask my doc will this crap every go away? Then he says well I have another patient who has been dealing with this for about 2 years. I am thinking, 2yrs? you have got to be kidding me. The thought of putting eye drops in 3 times a day for 2 yrs, just plan sucks.

Friday, May 4, 2007


I'm really glad its friday. this week was long at first since I was in bed for 2 days and now friday finally. I think this weekend will be great and things will get better.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

What the???

Well someone I know called to tell me that she and her husband had a baby. I'm happy for them. But it makes me sad. They did not want kids in the first place. They have a lot of issues about kids. Then there is my husband and myself who want children very badly and are having infertility problems. People just don't understand. She knows that we have been having a hard time. This is the first time in my life that it hurts. She sent me some photos I just cant look at them now. I know this sounds mean and hateful. But its painful.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Lumbar Puncture

I had my lumbar puncture. It went better than I thought. I did not feel a thing. I did not take my meds that morning or the day before. My opening pressure was high. I want to know what it was without my meds. I went against my docs but I just wanted to know the true reading. I have a black and blue mark on back but it is the small price to pay for the test. Maybe now knowing everything what I need to do, I think I can get pregnant. My neuro wants me to see a neuroendocrinologist before I start ivf, which makes sense. but still not sure.