Saturday, March 22, 2008


OK, I was feeling down earlier. But there is nothing like going to salon and getting new hair color and cut. What a world of difference. That made a nice start to the weekend.


It truly hit me this morning, that I have to wait another year for ivf. I know my doctor wants the best out come. But it still hurts. I know things have for a reason and maybe this it. So in the mean time I can work on me and get myself more healthy and ready for ivf. The doc does have a point but sometimes I just don't want to hear and when I do it takes a while to finally realize that sometimes he is right. I just get so sick of waiting and getting my hopes up and then get hurt.

My poor husband just found out that 3 girls in his office are pregnant. He came home so depressed. I would have never thought it would effect him so much. I know it hurts him because we have been married for so long and wanted kids since we met. But this was the first time I have seen him express his feelings about infertility.

Monday, March 17, 2008

St. Patrick's Day Vent

Went to see my re today. Well it was bitter sweet. He thinks I have developed a cyst. Which makes me think about the endo coming back. But maybe not. He said he could not tell. His plan for me is do the depo-provera until December. I was thinking December, What the heck. I have been waiting since surgery which was in august. He feels like the depo-provera, will control my pain long term. But it looks like I developed a cyst. Plus I have to be off the depo-provera for 6 months before ivf. Which I did not know.

I know good things come to those who wait. So there is my perfect holiday. It has always been a lucky day for me so maybe this was.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Nausea = Pregnancy

Well I have been feeling like crap. My stomach is going crazy. I was out of work one day because I have been nauseous for like 3 days. So when I go back to work , everyone kept asking me if I was pregnant. I know that is a sign of pregnancy but why do people assume. I did not want to say anything other than no I am not. I left like just screaming.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Mandate for Ivf

I was doing some research on ivf coverage for mandates. I found this site that has some information on state mandates for ivf. It is very helpful and explains the state policies.

I recently found out that my insurance does not cover ivf as the company is private and writes their own policy. Because of that they do not need to go by the mandate.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

RE appt for 2nd depo-provera shot

I finally put a call into my doc because I could not take the cramps anymore. I thought maybe the endo was coming back. I do not want to thru that again or lose another tube. They did an ultrasound and said everything looked fine. So thank you god. Now I know that this spotting and cramping is just side effects.

I was going to start ivf this month but it is just not working that way. My insurance does not cover ivf which I just found out and I live in a state that has a mandate, that will cover up to 3 cycles. So I will be switching insurance this summer and then ivf. I know it will be worth the wait. I know there are no guarantees but I will at least be given a chance.

Sunday, March 9, 2008


I don't know what is happening to me. The depo-provera is suppose to help me. But I feel like crap. I should not be feeling like this. I would rather be on lupron than this crap. I hope my endo is not coming back.

I keep thinking maybe I should try on my own as my re does not want me to but my neurologist does not want me to do ivf until I can get the pseudotumor cerebri (ptc) under control. I am 32 yrs old and can not wait forever. I know when I do get pregnant the pregnancy will be hard.

So one doctor says no ivf the other says yes.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

32nd Birthday

Well I just had my 32nd birthday and it was a pretty good day. I cant believe I am 32. I feel so much better about myself since I first turned 30. When I was in my 20's I had no idea about things or life. Tonight I went to dinner with my husband and parents. Then we went to a movie. I had such a relaxing time. It was great. I think things are looking better and I am feeling better.